SELF PITY, THE PRODUCT OF "SORRY"

 All through the years of my relatively young sojourn in life, I have had the Opportunity of meeting people with lofty dreams and visions but grew up with nothing but self pity; self pity for what they have not been able to accomplish, for what they don't have, for their current level in life, for the mistakes they have made, and for all they have lost.

One thing I have discovered that is common among these prisoners of self pity is the fact that they are all surrounded with sympathisers,  people who are always there to tell them sorry whether they mean it or not; people who are always there to make them believe that they are the only one in the world who are going through what they are going through. Learning from these people's experiences, I can wholeheartedly opine that one thing that can easily hold any man into the bondage of discouragement and consequently given up in life (committing suicide) is the evil of self pity.


 Thus, don't ever give room for self pity because self pity is the mother of low self esteem, and low self esteem is worst than pure illiteracy or mental slavery. 

Before I proceed further, Merriam-Webster dictionary described self pity as a feeling of pity for yourself because you believe you have suffered more than is fair or reasonable. But I see self pity as the state of mind where one sees or feels nothing positive in himself or around himself due to some bad encounters he or she has faced. So, the job of preventing self pity and the dead of your self confidence should be taken with utmost seriousness by being careful with what you listen to, being careful with who you hangout with, being careful with what you watch, and being careful with what you let into your heart, because as the Holy book says, "from the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks" so also can the thoughts of our heart help to shape our lives and create a direction for it. Now, will you rather have self pity or self confidence? The choice is yours.

From the definitions above, it is obvious that once you allow self pity to over shadow you, you will be like a walking dead; a person that is just living but not really existing nor relevant in any scale of things. In this state,  no matter how prestigious your certificate might be, self pity could make it seems like a burden to you instead of a breakthrough.

Therefore, In life, one thing you need to seriously avoid is anything that will make people to tell you sorrow; this word is a serious tool through which the seed of self pity is planted in ones soul. This seed is further watered by continuous gift of sorry a person gets due to the unfriendly events that continue to unfold in such a person's life. Peradventure the out pour of sorry is not tamed in ones life, as the saying goes "a drop of water makes an ocean" so will the sorry cumulatively construct a burden of self pity in such a person that will gradually earn him/her a dead of self confidence.

I know bad things do happen, and surely, bad things will continue to happen until life eternity. So, to help yourself, you have to limit the amount of sorry you open yourself to or as I have opined before, avoid everything that will cause an out pour of sorry to you especially those things under your control.

Don't see every situation as the end of the road for you or that you are the first or you will be the last person such a thing will happen to. Remember, "there is nothing new under the sun". Learn to be happy and smile even in the face of the most deadly challenges that may confront you in life. Don't waste your tears on what your tears can not change or bring back.

My friend, your self esteem is very Paramount if you want to be a success in whatever you do and where ever you find yourself. So, endeavour to guild it with all jealousy and agility. Avoid with all the guts you can gather any person or group of people who are natural pessimist or people who are in the business of making you moody or sad in every given chance.

More so, avoid as much as possible those people who never tell you a word of encouragement even for once, those who never see anything good in you or in what you do, those who criticise and abuse you with every opportunity they have, those who always want to bring you down at all cost, those who always believe you are wrong and go about shouting it without offering any tangible corrections. Better still, the time you spend with such people should be limited, their activities are not good for your self confidence but are all tools of emotional breakdown which will lead you to self pity and finally to low self esteem.

The importance of your self confidence can not be over emphasised, it makes you stand out among those you have the same qualifications, it makes you more sound among your contemporaries, and it hides your weaknesses. Self confidence is like a professionally done make up on a lady's' face; it is the touch of paint on a constructed building. It makes one looks more better, Smarter, Luckier, prepared, and perfect.